Look y’all. Here I am. I’m actually typing this. Well, by now you’re reading it so I’m actually done typing. (I really hope you’re reading it and I haven’t just slid this into my drafts and left it to collect metaphorical dust.) Assuming I DID finish typing this, let’s dive in.

So, as I said in my last post, my journey through faith has been a bit of a roller coaster. (Quick moment of authenticity though, so has yours, and everyone else’s.) I’ve really had some mountain highs and valley lows, do ya hear me? The beauty of these moments though, is that the Lord promises to be with us in both. The God of the mountain IS the God of the valley. He is just as near to us when we were in the pit as He was when we were on top of it all.

I don’t think I fully grasped this as a “baby-believer.” I think maybe I was convinced everything was supposed to be rainbows and daisies from the moment I surrendered my life to God. ( HA )

The truth of the matter is that trouble is kind of inevitable in a fallen world.

I began writing this particular post in march of 2021 and it is November 29th 😂 one day I’m gonna get consistent with this.

So let’s hop back in, shall we? Since February I have, gone into a deep depression, processed trauma, started an internship as a counseling intern, been revealed to my spiritual giftings, prayed with strangers in parking lots, and am starting a ministry. A lot happens in a few months 😂

So I am listening to the Holy Spirit, maybe I will stick to writing here this time. Or not.

Stick around to found out I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️ – I’ll dive into the Spiritual gifts next time.

Where have I been?

My goodness. I don’t even remember the last time I posted. My inspiration to write is usually lacking even though I enjoy it so much.

The last time I blogged I had just moved into our new home. (I think) Since then I have birthed an entire child and she has already turned one. My goodness I really do lack motivation here. 😂

Since beginning this blog I have grown in my faith in Jesus, found out I was pregnant, had a miscarriage, questioned everything I believed because of that miscarriage, bought a home with my husband, got pregnant again, had a beautiful baby girl, surrendered my life to Christ again, and here I am.

My intention going forward is to write about my journey through life with and with out Christ. If you’re interested, stick around. I’ll try not to wait 2 years before posting again.

Here I am, a year later or more, or less. I lost count. My ambition was dry after I started this page. One post and then lack of self confidence and motivation. Welcome to my life.

Everyday is a new opportunity to start over. Everyday is another chance to retry what we didn’t accomplish yesterday.

I feel like I fail to tell myself this and as a result I guilt myself for not accomplishing what I had set out to do on this day. This is a repetitive cycle I go through, which leads to a never ending cycle of depression that feeds anxiety, that feeds depression.

One of the hardest things for me in my journey through faith in Jesus Christ is forgiveness of myself. The guilt harboring results in more things to feel guilty about, a domino effect if you will.

‭‭The Word tells me I am forgiven of all my trespasses and wrong doings through Christ Jesus, but I am tempted daily to feed into the lies of the enemy. These lies being “you aren’t good enough” “you have failed” “you’ve screwed up” all run through my head, and paired with my tendency to fall into a pattern of pushing my bible studies and readings off “until next time” usually ends in disaster.

Let’s be clear, by disaster I mean “I’m overwhelmed and everything seems to be piling up and nothing I’m doing is good enough and I just can’t see the light at the end of this tunnel.” It’s a lot, and then the spiral downward follows.

The funny thing about that “light” at the end of that tunnel is that the light has never been at the end of that tunnel, EVER. That “light” has been right beside me this entire time!!! What?! I KNOW!!

The most freeing thing I have learned about Jesus on my journey through faith in Him is, even though I may wander, He is still right HERE. Every time I wander, every time I turn away and follow the world He meets me right there, right where I am. There He is.

I’m not sure where you are in your faith while you’re reading this, but I can bet God brought you here for a reason. I encourage you to take some time today, tonight, whatever it may be, and just pursue Him. He’s right there.

“And Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12